I regret nothing - what happens after Postal 2 Paradise Lost ?

(Just a little message for my French Readers.)

>Cet article sera en Anglais, car c'est juste une hypothèse sur les événements se passant après le jeu vidéo Postal 2 Paradise Lost, je le poste en Anglais parce que les fans principaux de la saga sont Américains.< 

Farewell, Paradise. And by the way, fuck you.

Let's talk about the worst game ever. Naaaah just kidding, let's talk about one of the most underrated games of all times : Postal 2. At the end of 2015's DLC "Paradise Lost", the... Hero ? Yeah, the PROTAGONIST, the Postal Dude, leaves the small (and completely insane) town of paradise with his dog Champ. The DLC is really awesome and lots of peoples who saw the trailer for a DLC made for a game from 2003 were like "WHAT THE FICKIDY FUCK ?!" and tried it out, and for what I can gather, the game became a little more popular. Just read the reviews on Steam !

So, maybe we'll get a sequel to the Dude's crazy adventures ! I mean we already had one, technically, Postal 3, but the events of Paradise Lost took this game, shouted a massive "FUCK YOU" to it's face before killing it and taking a good'ol piss. Yeah, Postal 3 was bad. Wich begs the question : how would the next episode be called ? "Postal Three-al", like the REAL Postal Three ? Postal 4 ? Postal 3 (the good one) ? Well I dunno. And that's not the subject. No, we're here to talk about one thing.

After Gary Coleman, Krotchy, Al Quaida, zombies, demons, crazy cats, elephants, his bitchy "Kill Bill-esque" wife and HELL ITSELF... What awaits the Dude in the future game ? Here are my little ideas !

Where is he going ?

The Dude was in coma for 11 years. I honestly don't think the apocalypse from Postal 2 extended to the rest of the US, I think this town was just doomed from the start. The Dude will NOT come back. I don't think he has anything else left to do there and well, the town exploded. Twice. So yeah.

I think the idea of a town like Catharsis from Postal 3 is not a bad idea. A town as crazy as Paradise, but a little less violent and crazy. The Dude might stumble across this new town and something happens, like somebody destroy his trailer and his car so he's stuck here and need money, or he just decided to live here. So yeah, maybe he can go to a REAL Catharsis, not a coma-dreamed Catharsis.

Or he can arrive in some little, normal town, where everything is normal, and might decide to stay there because he feels he would be happy here. But he might do something bad (wether he wanted it or not) and the town gradually becomes crazier and crazier. A Paradise bis. So we could start in a REAL PARADISE, but the Dude makes it become a NEW PARADISE. aybe against his will. Or he just can't control his dark pulsion. That's left to the player !

But what would be his objectives in this brand new game ?

The Daily routine and the characters

How about a "to-do list" the Dude writes to himself, like "go to the grocery store", or "go pay your rent", or even "meet your new neighboors" on the first day ! And (again on the first day), one of his action might fuck everything up. Or just like Paradise, the town is crazy and... Well, everyone shoots everyone. Because they're freaking crazy.

And that's where the bad guys comes in. If the new town is an happy small town just gradually becoming mad, the bad guys could be cops, the mayor, a bunch of "Mothers against video games" womens branding signs saying "I Blame Doom"... Not the last one, the first one because they're still stuck in the 90's... Or anything ! Just normal peoples wanting to save the town, so it doesn't become a new "Paradise"... But fucking everything up instead.

But I like the idea of a "Paradise bis" more. Because anything is possible.

How about Krotchy, comming back to promote his live action movie, where he's portrayed by Vince Desi (like in the movie), but the original guy (and actor) from Postal 2 wants to kill him to get the role back ! How about Mike J being the owner of a grocery store called "COW-cery store", trying to get back the money he lost for his wedding ! Or even youtubers starting a war against RWS (who relocated there) because they give a bad image to the video game industry... While wearing Doom T-shirts ! I'm sure some youtubers would love to give their voice for that joke ! Or maybe Michael Jackson, who tries to live in secret in this small town but he's afraid someone recognizes him and becomes paranoid... The possibilities are endless !

How about Aliens ! Postal 2 is SO CRAZY, I always wondered why there wasn't aliens ! We can end the game with a crazy war between humans (led by Krotchy, Donald Trump or Vince Desi), Zombies (led by Mike J) and aliens, led maybe by Michael Jackson, who was an alien from the start, or some kind of Hitler-like alien ! AND NAZIS BTW. How about Mike J resurrect Hitler and nazis to maybe take over the world... But Hitler does not obey and basically, THE NAZIS ARE BACK !

Too much ? Never.

Postal 2 is known because it's violent, politically incorrect and (for the critics) a bad game. Except for that last one, yes. Postal 2 was. And that's why it's so awesome ! It's freaking hilarious !

The charm from Postal 2 came from the absurd events and characters, the complete randomness of the situations and the stupidity of the story... And yeah, the Dude's voice. If RWS wants to make something better than 2, they should use all of their stupid and crazy ideas, keep the base gameplay of the original game and just add more music (because the game was SOOOOO SILENT), updated graphics and there you have it. The new Postal game.

RWS, if you're reading this and are working on a new Postal game, get crazy. Please, get fucking crazy. That's what we love about Postal 2 : it's a crazy game. We loved to piss on Gary Coleman, we loved to listen to the "Wise Wang", we loved all the crazy easter eggs... So just get crazy. And even though peoples will still say that "THIS GAME SUCKS, IT'S TO VIOLENT AND INAPROPRIATE", the fans will come back if you're the one making it, and I'm sure others wll come and try it because they heard about Postal 2 or the DLC.

SO ! Here was my theories of what awaits us in the next Postal game, hoped you liked it, tell me in the comments your crazy ideas and what do YOU want to see in the next episode (if they make it) and don't forget to never regret anything !